Millennial

by jason chu

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1.
02:13
Have you ever felt the challenge of keepin your balance As you walk down the line between naive and callous? When I rode a child seat, I had auras around me That caught guidance counselor eyes like meat on shark week I mean, I can’t speak for the rest of the crowd But expectations are a burden that kept weighing me down Big fish, little pond, big name in a small town Sometimes I ask God if it's over for me now Do I make my parents proud cuz I made it out of the house, and very few other Asians are makin this kind of sound? I was raised to be great, told to be the best Now every project I release that fails just gives me stress If you've ever been depressed, I know that you can relate To the weight of a generation and a race Evry time I step on stage, I'm fighting for my place Even Asians often tell me I don't have a rapper's face I'm NOT running in place, I'm here to run MY race I don't reference my talent just to flaunt it in your face I do it 'cause I'm conscious of the chips that are at stake I'm workin on my music to bring honor to my race Tryna make a statement, tryin' to make arrangements So the next generation might, escape this wasteland .I'd stay up late in, my parent's base ment Listenin to the Walkman tuned to the radio station Pop culture revealed my lack of basic information My education was lacking in breadth and variation Substance without style, smart with no mouth I was young, wild, and free - minus the wild For a while, blamed myself like I was too uncool Like I was the only one left when everyone else ditched school But now my people are on my back, that's what I CAN do If I touch a single life, I guess my raps came through So I'm practicing my craft like I do kung fu If YOU want a chance to live, yes, you come too Throw the shackles off your back, pack a bag, grab a map find your voice, let it breathe and YOU can live beyond the edge Free… you can live beyond the edge Free… you can live beyond the edge. Free.
2.
03:45
Verse 1 Lately, life has been a little bit crazy If you ever broken up you know exactly what I'm sayin' Flippin out, wipin out, messin up, stress had a brother about to go super Saiyan. When I’m out of patience, I don't handle pressure well Dad was super chill, but under pressure he would yell The immigrant story, family went through hell, now I'm here to bring them glory through the stories that I tell I do this for my fam, mom and dad, I love ya Losin touch with Tori, I'm not a goood, brother Stayin focused, don't have the time to spare Sorry to my sister, when I make it, you'll be there But I might never make it, even if I put in time I'm not the greatest, I just need to speak my mind, and see my story cut through all the lies that I’ve been buyin Troubled thoughts at night, but that's when I get inspired and say Chorus Oh lord Would you help me get off my knees Gotta get off my knees, I gotta get off my knees Oh lord I got the devil at my door He ain't gonna hold me back, ain't gon hold me back Verse 2 Will I make it? Man, I don’t know if I’m a legend bein written or amateur tryna go pro Every time I write a song, I’m feelin good, then I hear my voice recorded - that take was so-so Wanted to write a legend like the Hobbit but the odds against me even though I graduated college, the product of generations of scholars, not tryna kick no knowledge, I’m just here to give you something that helped me through all my problems Give you something that your eyes can’t see But sometimes I wonder if you see in me or ID some part of me that speaks truly I’m tempted to give in and just let things be. I tried that. It's cool, but that's not me. And not me is somethin that I will not be. What you see - the pain the struggle the fam, the hustle the music the lyrics - it’s all part of the plan Bad habits and flaws? man I been through it all, lost some good friends ‘cause I was too selfish to call Oh Lord, I’m tryna go hard, but oh God old habits, they die hard These doubts are crushin my whole heart, I’m tryna hold on to go on, so I say Verse 3 I flew to college on a scholarship But I wouldn't exactly call that a power trip Cuz there's not a lot of love if you're academic If you're Chinese and rap then it's probably a gimmick Ain't another rapper out here that I'm tryna mimic I do this for my art, I put my stories on the canvas, not an entertainer, I'm not here to play a role I'm just here to give you all a piece of my, soul
3.
04:48
VERSE 1 - First experiences. First loss of innocence. It all started when I was eleven At the mall I saw angels - but they didn't come from heaven From their curves to their lips, feminine perfection To youthful eyes, they were basically naked That night, my imagination thrived They haunted my eyes, I felt butterflies rise Amazed, I had never seen a woman that way And I fantasized, what it would be like .So full of innocence, I didn't even know What I stepped into, setting foot upon this road One picture turned to two, two turned into four The next thing I knew, I was way out of control .So young, but already I'd been told The measure of a woman is her body, not her soul Plus the hormones in MY body were not just to help me grow So girls replaced the toys I'd out grown. Chorus We flew together, but I'm no angel I'm no angel, I'm no angel We used each other, and I'm no angel I'm no angel - we're not angels Verse 2 A sexual addiction in its early stages Attracted to the pics and links up on those webpages Vivid promises of sex, but it's not enough You can't buy me love, but I can sure pay for lust I'm battling myself, and boy, I'm getting massacred This girl on my computer will do whatever I ask of her Once it was fun, now I can't stop Every time online, new tab - MAN she's hot No more thought, once I'm locked in Til I stop, all I think about is her skin For the moment, I can own her, or worship at her throne but once it's over and I'm sober then I'm back here on my own The goddess that captivated me is just a tab to exit History deleted, I'm cleaning up my messes It makes me sick just to think about it A couple hours later, all I'll do is think about it Chorus Verse 3 A billion dollar industry with great PR All based around denying just how lonely we are Silicone-pumped curves and airbrushed scars Hide the drug use and abuse of the women they call stars Broken women, broken by broken men When I idolize their image, the cycle starts all again I-look-at-my-girl like why won't YOU fuck like them Forgetting she's a person, not an internet icon Now she's the casualty of habits started casually, Sixteen years ago, never dreaming they would master me .It's the wool that I pulled over my eyes Telling-myself that women are all just freaks in disguise Librarians and wives, mothers and professors 18 and up, all just subjects, for my erection And I'm buried alive, while chasing dreams Of angels with no wings, that will never fly Chorus Outro You are not a toy, you're a woman And I am not a boy, I'm a man In this cold world, we're all broken I can't fly, but I can try to stand x2
4.
When you had her, you loved her, now you've left her When you had her, you loved her, and you messed up I just realized that porn has gotten boring. shit, I'd rather have a girl here just to kick it with White picket fence, is that too much to ask? or am I trippin off of surfin through Facebook pictures of my ex I mean, I was the one who left, cut her off like her dad when her father left And now she's fatherless, plus missin her boyfriend but why am I still the one who's got an empty chest? And if I talk about emptiness, would you feel my heart through the words or am I just an emo kid depressed Who might as well slit his wrists, write bad poetry, listen to Death Cab for Cutie, and dress all in black? …I want to call her bad But since the last argument, I haven't called her back She always asked why I never wrote a song about her, well here you go: this song, this is OUR track .Not break-up music, the soundtrack to play after you've broken up, and when you want her back The band-aid on top of a wound that's still bleeding months after your jacket got stabbed in the back I can't relax, not the type for Xanax but after panic attacks, I might just try a pack After dates, I would drive you back We'd make out in the back seat of my car with the windows cracked .Plus play the latest Kendrick on my Mac I lent you good kid maad city, and I don't want it back I just want YOU back, but I can't handle the facts ringing through my head like an old machine sending a fax …I want to put you on blast, but you don't deserve that, you were just doin the best that you can I wasn't enough of a man, not the man you needed, in fact, I was holding you back .Plus you were dragging me down, it seems so simple now, we held each other so close we had no air and drowned Crowned our relationship, said you were the one - now I'm standing here wishing I had held my tongue Cuz if we'd never kissed like that, the mistakes that I made wouldn't have hurt us both so bad And it's oh so sad, we were really in love but our love wasn't the best But if it's any consolation to you, I guess you were right when you said That because of you I'd turn out to be a wiser man… Man.
5.
03:40
Verse 1 How many nights have I been up late? Alone and frustrated, overly medicated, my head is aching, I can't get to sleepin so I'm still awake Thoughts are racing and my blood is pumping heavily, I'm far from heavenly I'm only human, I'm only broken, the only mutant in this family Mom and dad are mad at me: their bastard son with a catastrophe My pastor pleads and says that problems need to be solved with peace plans, but I can't receive that Now I'm searching through the house For anything that's sharp enough to pierce this cloud that I'm surrounded in From the kitchen to the office, shocking how much has changed since I was toddlin Up these stairs, now I'm lockin the door to the room that I grew up in I just drank some whiskey - what is this stuff It burns but it feels good, my stomach churns, now I'm looking in the mirror, looking at myself I don't even move my hand, it moves itself Chorus None of you can save me from myself I look strong but I'm far from perfect health Red lines, red lines Red lines, red lines Everyone knows I'm a cry for help Locked doors and I'm cuttin everybody out Red lines, red lines Red lines, red lines Verse 2 I cut myself tonight, and it hurt Now I'm in the bathroom, trying to hide a bloody shirt I was nervous, but now the tension's gone When my parents come home I'll just tell them I did my homework At school, my friends and teachers are concerned, but I've learned if I insist that everything is all right, they'll mind their own business, and I can hide in plain sight It's a cycle that I'm on and honestly I'm afraid that I'll be pedaling til I'm gone, I'm trying to sound alarms But my friends already know that I'm artistic on my arms plus I'm a ticking time bomb, or am I just a drama whore who missed attention from his momma I don't know how I can stop, now I'm ready to blow up, I need to bleed to feed the urge that seizes me won't let me sleep, now I'm creeping out from under sheets and sneaking past the hallway: creaking boards, beeping laundry machine, my daddy's asleep while I'm seeking a means for release I always wonder if I'll go too far, but that hasn't come yet, so I keep on doing this…. Chorus Verse 3 I'm an addict, and my drug is hard to swallow The pills that I pop are not prescriptions, you'll never find them in a bottle I don't know what tomorrow holds, I barely have today But I'm halfway through this day and standin stronger than the pain Now I've learned that just because I've given in, that doesn't mean I have to give up yeah, I can still get back up I'll put this knife down, and I won't pick it back up No matter how much bad luck can stack up, I'm moving forward, I'm moving forward, I'm moving forward. I'm moving forward! uh End Chorus Will you be there if I cry for help? Maybe I don't have to do this all by myself Red lines, red lines Red lines, red lines I feel alone but I'm reachin out Learned I don't have to listen to my doubts Red lines, red lines Red lines, red lines
6.
Shy at first, now I'm bright and new When I saw your light, I spent the night with you Will you push me away, or draw me closer to you? Will you shine with me, if I shine for you? Verse 1 I started rapping attracted to all the action Never thought I'd ever have a chance to fashion my own lane Fascinated by the way these words portrayed a mind state, My motivation was passion, captivated by dropouts with more eloquence than my graduation speakers I know it sounds odd… but this Chinese kid played rap and heard God// See Jason up late hearin Eminem songs, then rappin them back on the back of the bus I packed my bookbag with my calculus books, plus the latest Jigga disses to Nas See Jason walkin round in his mom and dad's house, rapping to his toys, action figures and cards Fast forward, ten years later, see him on stage in LA, three hundred younger kids in the house, wow CHORUS Shy at first, now I'm bright and new When I saw your light, I spent the night with you Will you push me away, or draw me closer to you? Will you shine with me, if I shine for you? Verse 2 Learned to speak from my heart with the art in this wrist My pen used to itch til my fingers twitched, it wrote words on the pad til my blisters split, I didn't feel it like a hypnotist Ignored my younger sister, I was so selfish Fought with mom and dad, I was a little prick Plus a little self-hatred, I was hypocrite Never kissed a girl, I was way too timid But evry word that I wrote, man, it lifted this, turned pissed pessimist to artistic bliss Learned to spit raps like unwrapping gifts, plus my attitude turned activist I activated my mission, learned to act as if I wasn't the only person that mattered Fast forward, five years later, now I'm spitting in Beijing, three hundred kids listening, wow CHORUS Verse 3 Imma end this track real honest, sometimes I rap cuz I love to see your comments Sometimes I want to blow my money on designers, product of consumerism plus years in college So I need you to shine with me Cuz if I don't rhyme for you, there's no rhymes in me That's the reason I see for this season in life I'm writin words to give you somethin to believe in// I'ma keep on writin trustin that you're readin keep on rappin trusting that you hear it I'ma keep on living just so you can see what it looks like for a broken young man to find freedom If I'm tellin lies, damn right I'mma eat em I'll swallow mean bullets from Marine peacekeepers Crucified on the beach during shark week season Screamin as I lie there bleedin If my country shuts me up, I will commit treason If I die, cut the words out my lungs, and keep em in a jar with vinegar and embalming ether A suicide bomb plus the calm of Jesus Plus the karma of Edward Snowden, Imma tell the truth even if it earns me no friends Fast forward to today, I'm spittin in LA, and I need my words to leave you weeping, unh CHORUS
7.
02:18
Every generation to pass leaves a footprint on the path Once your time is past, what will yours look like? Much Love Verse 1 This is not a tracklist with bangers This is antisocial stuck at home with no manners What you know about Tupac spittin at the cameras? This is the sound of surgery on social cancer I'm grabbing the microphone at every open mic on campus, canceling every class that they use to direct the masses This is the sound of guerrilla war and harassment The voice of a generation raised without compassion From orgasm to the casket, parents leaders and pastors Leaned over our shoulders while they were lookin right past us That's why you always ask why we dress black and aggressive in hoodies jeans and skimasks, all a part of the package Chorus A generation of millionaires with molotovs How do you dare to judge us when you don't know us at all? Confusion is at the root of all hatred And just remember, we're exactly what you made us! Verse 2 The constant gossiping, bullies plotting, the Oxycontin copping Kamikaze no common sense all my Facebook friends are watchin me hawkishly, no common decency I'd be calm immediately if I had no media feeds I'm a media beast, eatin no wheat, I'm eatin the weak, I'm eatin your meat And meetin your mourners out in the streets I'm a coronary, so coronate me, read 'em and weep And the coroner knows me, I'm deliverin the deceased Of the last generation that passed into my reach The new millennium, I'm the insolence in the speech Of the millenial generation raised on ADHD, Ritalin and Internet, interventions cannot reach The honor student dropout, the college campus walkout The reason all your kids are on the phone while you try to talk now The voice of a generation racin cross the nation crossin races, raisin' hell, erasin all of your hard labor uh… And I'm not advocating terrorism Don't throw a bomb, write a song and have the nation listen Takin the system prison, pressin on your indignation My parents' youth was wasted, now I'm here as their replacement A generation of millionaires with molotovs How do you dare to judge us when you don't know us at all? Confusion is at the root of all hatred And just remember, we're exactly what you made us!
8.
03:45
Prechorus I won't always be near So I wrote this song for you When I'm not in the room My words will lift you Verse 1 Jay brought you to our show over New Year's, introduced us "meet my student Eli right here" Raised in a fam'ly without a brother or a sister Your distance from parents was better measured in light years Saw us on stage and you looked up to us Bought a signed CD and wished good luck to us I always hoped to make music that would inspire The younger generation and give you someone to admire I remember who I was when I was sixteen Hid my voice, and never dared for big dreams .'cuz experiences around me were never heard on radio or projected on a big screen .I saw you as a younger version of my self; you hit me up, said my songs were a really big help I rapped about Grace, you related to it Heard my song about race and saw your face through it But I had to leave the city to follow my dreams And outside our final show, I saw you in the street We shook hands - thanks for your support And I hope you're still inspired when you hear my voice... CHORUS Verse 2 I was unpolished… to be honest, I gave myself a C for my performance at your college I was young, when I traveled to Wisconsin as the closing act inside of your Spring concert I flowed so-so, they should have just had a local close .But you waited to talk to me after the show Had me autograph the contents of your pockets I even signed my name on your Totoro backpack Totally thankful that you would compliment my raps Said you found them meaningful and even bought my tracks Friended me on Facebook, I added you back When I was anxious, you left a comment on my status You said my music, had impacted your heart, and you'd ride around with my CD in your car Gave me hope that my words could move a nation So this verse right here is a dedication… ...to you uh …thank you CHORUS Verse 3 This is why I live the life that you see and hear, for every single lonely kid that I see in here For every spark of artistic inspiration that could jumpstart the aching hearts who want to beat clear .And let me be clear: I am not an idol, like a child, I am full of fear I might rise, I might crumble - maybe I will stumble, but I will never cheat here …And I will never give you cheap beer I pledge you the best of my recipes, the best I have left in me, the stress and messiness The honesty AND the struggle will always be real .And I do it cuz I grew up with the muses I heard in the music that I played on my computer .I'm a student of those singers and producers, and I'm just hoping my voice will reach the future So if you listen to this on YouTube, or download the MP3? you too I want you to know every time you hear me speak through these beats that I wrote this song for YOU. (For you)
9.
02:57
INTRO: The Children of the children of the seventies Expectations for their future were higher than they could ever meet Parents gave them all the freedom in the world but never knew how they should treat em Greeted them into the world but didn't know how to feed em Millennial VERSE 1 Twenty-seven years old, ready to be a man No more waiting for hand outs, I'll do whatever I can .My best plans are still written in sand I'm done with sand castles, I need my OWN land .The world's colder, my mind's older, I was young when I vowed to always be stone sober But I haven't yet been bowled over, though I see why men drink something stronger than Coca Cola Or sniff coca, on trips to Acapulco Pokin their nose in pots of gold that they were not supposed ta Once super local, now I'm thinking total global I'm still hopeful in a world gone super loco Like Toto's owner, or a token marijuana smoker Startin to feel like I have wandered far away from home, uh In a Honda Odyssey, I'd give my girl monogamy But I've accomplished next to nothing next to my degree (Yale!) CHORUS .What does it take to be a man? A dollar and a dream, empty pockets and a plan? Momma always said, life will never hold your hand To make God laugh, you just tell him all your plans x2 12th grade yearbook, "most likely to change the world" Same time, I was least likely to chase a girl Sum it up, you don't have to have a brain To know the combination equals jason goes insane I'm not saying that MY life is worse than YOUR case We all have struggles - these are just the ones that I've faced Not to mention, the girls I found on MySpace, late at night, sendin messages, pictures I erased, huh I had to get that off my chest, huh I had to hide all of those texts! Huh I had a complicated mess Of how I viewed the other sex - and also sex, huh .Expecting greatness was problematic I felt the weight of public gaze, and I couldn't stand it Ever since I turned 12, I've had this awkward habit, thinking that my future should be brighter than the lunar landing .So now I'm sorting through my options From passive thought, now I'm moving to production To start conducting my life with new reductions Less consumption. More action. More confronting. x2 CHORUS
10.
Verse 1: Fifteen and pimply, my friend sent me a message that said "Chinese freestyle on BET" Intrigued by this emcee from Miami, Chinese kid with slanty eyes kinda looked like me Awkward as a kid, I was a nerd but I loved Hiphop Just never thought that the culture would give me my shot Rappin with my friends after school before dad picked us up Just out of love - never dreamed that I’d amount to much So I was psyched to see you on SMACK DVD Release day, I bought the rest is history Even Ryde Or Die 4, just for YOUR one track Aim for the head, when you see em go get em - yeah More than Learn Chinese or hot import nights, what you represented to me was our civil rights & I KNEW that you would blow up soon But then I heard you got dropped from Ruff Ryders... Boom Chorus Dear Jin, I just wanted to say thanks. You were a role model when I had no other path I'm writing as your fan - Representin the Chinese kids that grew up hearin you rap V2 I started rhymin around my college campus Around the same time that you dropped the emcee's properganda Hot 97 did that racist song And I was proud that you stood up and spoke out to put our people on .Then I read in a blog, that you moved to Hong Kong And you dropped some new songs - and got cast in a drama I heard you were baptized - to REALLY be honest? a part of me sighed - would you change and lose your Asian-American pride? Would this popular guise, tempt you to give up your fight against all the stereotypes? Were you tired, or did you just need a change in your life? Either way, it's all right, I'm GLAD you found Christ You were quiet for a minute - I NEVER counted you out But in the absence of YOUR voice started speakin mySELF In Beijing with David I put some songs on YouTube Then I moved to LA to do the same thing as you V3 Now I’m livin out in LA and I feel like I’m on my way And I’m writin music at night and recordin it in the day And my friends are tweeting me like "Hey, have you hearda MC Jin? You two should really collaborate.” And I downloaded Brand New Me - Honestly? It wasn't my favorite but still I played it for weeks Cuz hearin you spit in English made me feel like a kid Like I'm back in high school downloadin Hundred Grand Jin And I've seen that you still got it & can hype up a crowd No more battles - that's fine, I'm just glad you're still around Then a couple months ago, we finally got to meet I was stoked - you gave me props for a song that I wrote, a YouTube upload Really, it gave me chills! an artist that I grew up with was complimenting MY skills I remember on a mixtape, you once said that you hope to inspire the next asian hip-hop head & you most definitely have - your words came true Sincerely yours, your biggest fan - jason chu
11.
Chorus Fake rollies and rap x3 Who got time for all that? x2 Breakdown The chronicles of a non-chronic chronic fool Conical cap, back corner of the classroom Tryna keep cool, I tryna look kinda cool But I grew up sheltered, never knew that I'm never-nude Verse 1 Is it cool if I'm honest, no irony for a minute I know that I sound cooler if I lie and say I'm Something that I'm not, but that's someone that I'm not I had some rhymes like that a while back, but they got ripped and tossed out I started music long ago so I could floss out But between kickin kitchen raps up in my mom's house And moving to LA to do this music, that got crossed out Checked the bar codes on my bars, I know my cost now A combination that is #VeryRare, Asian hair plus the kind of Jordan sneakers that I wear Rarely seen, often parodied like MadTV White Men Can't Jump - the Oriental version Expected to lie like rugs, except they're often Persian I'm not Tyson, but give me a mic stand and I can bite the ear off anybody, that's my word and if you haven't heard of me yet, uh you have now Chorus Verse 2 What does it say that I exist in present tense When my presence tends to elicit bigot sentiments Explicit comments that my essence is illicit and missing multiple pieces of soul found in Aretha Rap swag is usually black or as white as Alaskan crab meat inside the shell when it cracks So I suppose, I'm doomed to oppose or overthrow all the cracks at the types of melanin that I lack Too white for the black kids - too white for the white kids I guess my life is just not tight to the right kids In other words, I'm faker than a Chinatown Louis V Or the Tupac hologram Coachella speech But I'm enveloped in rebellion and bow my knee To nobody's opinion so I'll do me, just wait and see So I wear this fake Rollie on my wrist to remind me that the people sayin I'm fake - they don't mean shit. CHORUS OUTRO The chronicles of a non-chronic chronic fool Conical cap, back corner of the classroom Tryna keep cool, tryna look kinda cool But I grew up sheltered, never knew that I'm never-nude x2

about

An album about fear. hope. life.
break-ups. family. pornography.
hurt. healing. SAT class.
And more.

9 songs + 2 bonus tracks. Digital download comes with single covers.

OH LORD: y2u.be/V2Tyt_r9sB0
Red Lines (Cutting): y2u.be/DT1tXPVPnLM
free: y2u.be/eQQGT5vHfWU0
3amLookingAtYourPictures: y2u.be/PKlCRV2lubY

credits

released February 7, 2014

All songs written by J.Chu, except 2 written by J.Chu and C.Kim
All songs mixed by J.Chu and Chris Changchien at The Manor, except 2 mixed by Charles “Chucky” Kim at Be Hear Now.
All songs mastered by Chris Changchien at The Manor.

1, 3, 4, 5, and 10 recorded at The Manor
6, 8, 9, and 11 recorded at ST5A DTLA
2 and 7 recorded at Be Hear Now Studios


Thanks to Peter, Cindy, Chris, Andrew, Elliott & Kingdom Culture, Chase Flow & Will H, Chucky & Be Hear Now, Jung, Andrue, JPoon, Chris Min, Eugene, Dave Shin, Jen and the NoBox kids, the GBS fam, Tony Lee, Dan Mark, Jose, Joe Gallagher, Jon Moy & the Hooligans, Julia Price, Sean Scott, Andy Yoontae, Priska, The Great Company & MC Jin, Newton & Roberta Chu and the Church of the Holy Cross in Hilo, and Jessica Snell.
Thanks to Marc and Bonnie.
Thanks to Mom, Dad, Tori, and Nai Nai.
Thank you for listening.

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jason chu Los Angeles, California

Speaking hope, healing, and justice in a broken world.

#TeamNotLazy

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