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1. |
Holding On (Intro)
02:20
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Chinese kid from Delaware, no combination of who I am is supposed to be here on top of these snares
But one step after another, I keep climbin these stairs, turnin up my face to heaven like I’m supposed to be there
It’s been tumultuous years if we’re really keepin it real
Pastor Karen assures me that’s the first step to be healed (God bless)
The Fungs brought me out to LA, I wasn’t really ready, same book different pages situation got messy, and if I’m really confessing, I have to clear my chest to the ex who also fulfilled the role of best friend
Went bad, my bad, repent, that’s it, but still, we don’t talk, oh well, same ---- (same, ----.)
The Same Old Story
S.O.S., no reply, I’m so sorry
Sometimes ashamed that I still get on the stage and share my life thru all these pages without reconciliating but YOU know how much I’ve let down my closest ones, broke with them, still it brings you JOY when you hear me share my broken songs so I’m up 5 AM, laptop out, Chris’s house, YouTube on, battle raps, iPhone 5, reading Psalms
No Elton John but I see the circling of life, even if you miss it once, it still can come round on you twice
Either I’m on shrooms or I picked one up, extra life, now I’m on my second wind, second life (Jesus Christ!)
I remember at Marco’s graduation, talkin at length with Jason bout my resignation, did YOU know that I was this close to never writing this verse, never shooting Red Lines, just quittn and finding work? Word was my words wasn’t, enough to get it buzzin, YouTube views suffrin, anxiety causin me to make moves that I knew were untrue, now I can see clearly like that reggae song in Cool Running
Every twelve steps I take, thank the higher power I am not defined by my mistakes
I’m no saint, I’m no gimmick, I’m not great, no entertainer, I’m just making music so my people make it through the day (ok?)
We break up, have bad luck, stuck in jobs we don’t want, our dream jobs don’t want us, lose our faith, lose our moms, lose our face, lose our calm, lose our case, lose our car, but we can’t
shake
the love.
(can’t shake the love.)
x2
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2. |
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VERSE 1
Jen
In life and love, they say the victor signs his name on the paycheck
She went on TV in the hopes of, finding fame and singing her song for the world, singing the song that she had been singing since she was a little girl, the song that she heard ring in her childhood dreams, it was the song that SHE sang best
She was her mother’s darling angel (and?) she was daddy’s little princess
But she discovered that the camera adds five to fifteen pounds plus flesh don’t look as good as plastic under the lights on that sound stage, plus her singing voice was too honest, so they labeled her “unpolished”, they were the type of men to take a perfectly good rose and give it two thick coats of varnish
The judges’ comments were harsh, she fled their remarks, the cameras back stage recorded the tears from her honest heart and just as it seemed that she’d fallen apart she said
Bridge
It’s not over when it’s over, when it’s over, it begins and
It’s not over when it’s over, the end is just the beginning
It’s not over when it’s over, when it’s over, it begins and
It’s not over when it’s over, the end is just the beginning
VERSE 2
Jose
In love and life, he waited patiently for his break
Workin hard at the restaurant, he made his own way,
from minimum wage he ground it out til he made management grade
Bad habits he managed to shake, cannabis and cocaine, OK.
They were nothing at all next to the alcohol he would drink, but then he got saved and Jesus Christ showed him grace,
and the liquor he used to partake was poured out all in that grave, sober for the first time since fifth grade.
Cold turkey maintained, Jose lived the life of a saint. Amen.
But then SHE came in, introduced by his friend, unphased by religion she flirted with him, his wheels they started to spin, his eyes they were blackened, tequila it beckoned, his job disrespected they let him go he let go illegal vehicle no control he wrecked it rejected she left him he went in the system cement and dejected prayed to God prayed to God prayed to God prayed to God and he said
Bridge
It’s not over when it’s over, when it’s over, it begins and
It’s not over when it’s over, the end is just the beginning
CHORUS
VERSE 3
In love and life, they say the victor writes the rules
Twenty four long years she had waited, twenty four long cruel years she had waited as she saw her friends couple up and get engaged and she never even had a single date
But she waited cuz she knew the next page would be a prince and then her storybook romance could finally start to begin
Her future felt grim, but good things are worth the waiting, and when God authors your fate, there’s no room for negotiating;
Then he rode in, on a motorbike with room to fit another
A soft-spoken man, but an undercover leader; his quirks were like her own, plus he understood her needs - he’d been single all this time just like she. Their romance was a whirlwind - the waiting was worth it because all the waiting had led to him! Her heart was finally openin to the first man since her dad who had taken her by the hand
But the winter came to an end, his doubts came in between them, they grounded her future and left her alone where she landed,
now she’s back where she started, she’s falling apart but her heart will not harden, it beats with new blood and her love is not lost it just needs to restart though the going is harder it never will bother her she knows the hope is a part of her always inside of her no matter what’s going on all around of her speaking to her with the voice of a father that’s always been proud of her
(and it says)
Bridge
It’s not over when it’s over, when it’s over, it begins and
It’s not over when it’s over, the end is just the beginning
It’s not over when it’s over, when it’s over, it begins and
It’s not over when it’s over, the end is just the beginning
CHORUS 3
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3. |
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CHORUS (Ruth Cho)
You work everything together, everything for good
Even when I do not understand, always you move
There is nothing that could separate me from your love
Neither height, nor depth, nor anything below or above
VERSE 3 (jason chu)
The silence more deadly than any viruses
A bio weapon infectin my environment
But your words healed me and did damage at the very same time like a paladin
I was a coward then, ashamed to show my dreams, I left them hidden
Now my heart is painting pictures that I’m placing on the easel that I wheel in your cathedral, and I leave them right there as an offering
Until these words bleed I haven't done enough
Every time I hear the beat I get another rush
So until I OD
or become a OG
or get strung from both feet I haven’t sung enough
Oh Lord you spoke through the music showed me my future and told me to do it
I might never make a salary but every time I’m scared I just envision where I’m bout to be!
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4. |
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(Chorus)
Girl, wont tell you I love you (I love you)
Oh, my words get me in trouble (In trouble) (yeah)
So I’m not sayin I love you (I love you)
No, my words get me in trouble (I love you) (yeah)
VERSE 1
Always rushin to fall in
I got addicted to the rush
Not out of lust, out of what I could see in the future for us
Prophecyin’, I’m Isaiah plus Nostradamus
Drain my cups when I see you I’ll be drunk in love
But drunk drivers crash, I was fifteen, got smashed
I turned 16, she bounced, she was my fo’ty ounce, new leaf turned over, sobered up and I would not relapse
Then seventeen, I met Anne, and it happened all again,
Now I’m back on the juice, my lips were loose, let it slip and swam in a ocean, emotion, thinkin’ rings with no coasters
Devotion, it cost us, broke up, both heartbroken
The pattern I’m caught in from spells that I’ve spoken, yea
I tend to speak before I really think
I tend to think before I’m ready to
So I’m not tryin’ anything wit you
But I’m here to grow, if you’re willing to let me, new
(Chorus)
VERSE 2
It’s a birthday party, in a karaoke bar, don’t know your name or your sign but I see you shining like a star
Now who you are? The only one dancing in the room, girl (girl) unashamed to show your moves, girl, ah
You dance for you, never mind the attention, not the type to need to get your validation from affection, plenty men pointed in your direction but you are guardin your space (haha)
I mean you cut down the scrubs in your face (garden)
First stairwell conversation, walkin’ you to your car but got a different destination in mind, I’ll take time to let it build then a couple months later you’re all in my phone billin, but still we’re just chillin
I’m out on tour, you’re stayin up late so that we could talk tho
Only Chinese girl I’ve spotted in Roscoe’s chicken and waffles
And when you rock that DOPE snapback that I had bought you
I caught myself, I almost said it, girl, said I, I, I
(Chorus)
VERSE 3
I see the possibilities; you and me could really be
If you’re down to join the team, the two of us could run the league
But I thought that before, it turned out untrue, I jumped the gun and left bodies to boot
Played robbers and cops with emotional loot, left the vault messy ran off in the coupe, so I’m not gonna shoot, you’re not a target to me
But I see what you’re doin with that cut off Stussy tee
Some swag in your whole persona plus your momma raised you well relationship good with your father so no issues I can tell, can I be real?
I’m not searchin for my next ex.
I’m lookin for my first last.
And you’re first class, I mean you fly extra, I mean you’re extra fly, so can I holla atcha?
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5. |
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(Spoken intro)
VERSE 1
What’s up J? How you doin?
I know your schedule’s packed - I’m glad I was included
It’s been a minute since I seen you, I came up
Got some info that could help you step your game up
Deodorant - Learn how 2 use some.
Floss your teeth, or you’re gonna lose one!
Gatorade is a drink for when you exercise… not on the couch all weekend watchin X-Files!
Friends: value the ones you have and your anime parties with computer LANs
I know you wonder bout the drinkin that you’re missiiin
But that’s not any more fun than u already have (yea)
So love your life a lot
Dont ever think that it’s not enough
Success is not about how much you were given…
It’s what you make with the life you got
CHORUS
Are mom and dad still healthy? (Don’t even worry)
How’s my SAT grades? (It’ll be OK)
What’s the meaning of life? (Don’t even worry)
How’s that new X-Men movie? (It’ll be OK)
Will I get a good college? (Don’t even worry)
I’m under so much pressure (It’ll be OK)
Sara cheated on me last week (Don’t even worry)
Will I ever find another? (It’ll be OK)
(Jae Jin)
Every dish has the sour and the sweet
Every life has the lavish and the cheap
Success is not about how much you were given
It’s what u make with the life you got
VERSE 2
I know the struggles you been havin man
Sometimes you feel like you don’t have a dad
But he’s tryin his best: cut him slack, at least he’s workin hard to bring the bread home
The best moments aren’t scheduled
Don’t overthink or try to plan those
You’re smart and you can talk - but no diagram’ll help you understand the heart
You worry more about girls than you should
You talk to fewer girls than you could
She’ll hurt you, but no more than she needs to - you gotta learn that no woman will complete you
You’re still much less than what you want
You’re also much more than what you’re not
Success is not about how much you were given
It’s what u make with the life you got
CHORUS 2
Will I ever leave this town? (Don’t even worry)
What’s my first kiss like? (It’ll be OK)
Does Harry Potter die? (Don’t even worry)
I don’t have friends on Myspace! (It’ll be OK)
Who will I take to prom? (Don’t even worry)
What’s it like to grow up? (It’ll be OK)
Will I get my own car? (Don’t even worry)
Will I have a boring job? (It’ll be OK)
(Jae Jin)
Your future has highs and lows
Some dreams die, some grow
Success is not about the life you were given
It’s what u give with the life you got
VERSE 3
You’re gonna roam a world that u never seen
Do some things that u never dreamed
People u don’t know are gonna stream, download, and even listen to the songs u sing
So be less angry, find a little peace
Switch from baggy khakis into slimmer jeans.
And don’t worry bout the life that u were given
Go ahead, and take your best shot
JAE JIN - outro
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6. |
Holding On (ft. Alfa)
03:19
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CHORUS
When the light in your eyes fade
and the night stars have turned grey
holdin on, holdin on
When the last friend you had flies
And there's no sight of sunrise
holdin on, holdin on
Listen:
Out in LA, losing touch with friends
Missed Damini’s wedding, known him since we was ten
Spent the day with memories of our past selves
Summer sleepovers, stayin up past twelve
"See you the next time you’re in town”… No, we don’t say that any more now
Because words come cheap.
But even when we don’t speak, you know I'm still - me.
So hold on…
we’re still young.
Just hold on, I'll come find you whenever I'm done.
(Chorus)
Listen:
In '83, my mom had a miscarriage
Three years later, they planted a family.
The first seed was me - then my sister, right after my dad’s degree.
Uprooted from the motherlaand - transplanted to another laand.
From Chicago we moved to Californ-i-a, and did it all agaain
They made mistakes
Well, everybody does
I used to hate them for that - you were supposed to be my role models and didn't know how to raise a son!
But Tori calls me after therapy
She says she's learning how to move past
I don't know if I can do that
But mom and dad, thanks for holding on
(Chorus)
This is my hope:
I'm not loved, because I rap good
Act good, speak nice - or anything like that.
And I might fail to accomplish everything I set out to do in this life
But you can still love me
even when I am my worst parts
And all the things I’m ashamed of won't ever come between the two of us, huh
So I'm here holdin on
I think this song might outlive me
But it didn't start with me
So even death isn’t the ending.
Listen.
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jason chu Los Angeles, California
I make rap music + speak on what I believe in.
TeamNotLazy
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